I live in Uptown, in a high-rise that is full with a stock of character that includes:
a.) the dude next door who often drinks Miller Lite in the hot tub at 9:30 a.m. on Saturday mornings with three of his barbed-wire tatted friends, because it’s the weekend and I earn my weekends, work hard to play hard, bro,
b.) a collection of sleep-deprived Baylor Hospital residents who immediately regretted their decision to move in upon seeing (a),
c.) dudes who often drink Michelob Ultra in the hot tub at 3:30 a.m. on Saturday mornings because this body doesn’t get this sweet and ripped by drinking full-calorie beers, broski,
d.) a surprisingly high number of retirees, who obviously signed their leases in the winter when subgroups (a) and (c) were hibernating in their jewel-encrusted man caves, and
e.) me and my fiancee
So, when an apartment complex sends me a flier shouting “Free rent for a month” or “Loft-space with downtown view” or “Free popcorn and Cracker Jacks in lobby, all day, every day,” I usually check them out. That’s what brought me to BLVD, the new apartment building on SMU Boulevard.
And it looks nice on the frontpage: transit-oriented, eco-friendly, close to trails and recreation. But, let’s delve into these amenities because, really, they’re patently false.
BLVD promises “quick access to DART rail,” and that’s true. The building’s about a five minute walk from the Mockingbird DART station. Problem is, that picture isn’t of the Mockingbird DART station. Best Dan and I can tell, it’s West End. This is the Mockingbird station:
Not as downtowny, right? Let’s continue.
“Walkable neighborhood near the Katy Trail.” Let’s expound on that for a second. The very tip of the Katy Trail, where it hits Airline Road, is 1.1 miles from BLVD, across one of the widest and busiest overpasses on North Central, Mockingbird Lane. Let’s even say a BLVD resident chooses to walk through the M Streets, avoiding that intersection and entering the trail off McComas. Then you’re looking at a 30 minute walk, just to get to the trail.
Okay, but put that argument aside. If you’re going to the trail, you’re trying to exercise, so maybe the mile-plus to and from isn’t a big deal. The big deal should be that photo isn’t even the Katy Trail. So, not only are you telling potential residents that your building is near the Katy Trail, you’re showing them a picture of some other trail, probably in Missouri or Russia or Zimbabwe maybe.
I’m not in advertising or marketing, I know. And maybe these tricks are standard, a sleight-of-hand used to lure people in, then wow them with free popcorn and Cracker Jacks. But people are smarter than this.
You may tout yourself as a LEED-certified, green building, BLVD, but that doesn’t make up for the fact that you’re also kind-of charlatans.