Whether you’re nervously walking your wide-eyed kindergartener to their classroom for the first time, watching with a mix of pride and panic as your newly-licensed teen drives off, or standing on the threshold of a college campus trying to keep it together, there’s something uniquely emotional about the back-to-school season.
I vividly remember watching my young boys march into their classrooms with oversized backpacks and big, brave hearts. They’d glance back just enough times to give me permission to exhale. But once the door closed behind them, I’d sit in the car swallowing the lump in my throat, wondering how it all started moving so fast.
And just last year, my husband and I dropped our youngest off at his college campus. We organized dorm essentials with a level of enthusiasm that mimicked decorating his nursery. The ride home was filled with remembrances of school plays, piano recitals, and track meets. And the tears? Oh, they came. Quietly at first, then with the force of years of loving and letting go.
I posted this reflection on social media at the time:
“After nearly two decades of being the center of our universe — guiding, nurturing, strengthening their roots — letting go to allow them to spread their wings is tougher than I ever imagined. I’m gonna miss the small stuff: the back door swinging open with a bang, the daily ‘I love you mama!’ as they run back out to sports practice, and the sound of two closely-bonded brothers playing (and bickering) upstairs. I already miss them terribly, and while the rational side of me knows this is what we parents hope for, the mom in me laments the days of yesteryear passing all too quickly.”
Watching our kids grow includes many highs and lows and their rites of passage carry an immense joy and pride for us as we witness the people they are becoming. I can attest that the goodbyes after college breaks don’t get easier, but there’s beauty in seeing the quiet confidence in their stride, knowing they feel ready to face the world — because we helped prepare them for it.
That is after all the goal, isn’t it? To be both soft place and launch pad. To root them deeply enough in love and guidance that they feel safe to soar.
And as tough as it can be, it’s also breathtaking. There’s something undeniably awesome in watching your child step into the world with shoulders back and head high, walking forward on legs you helped steady during those very first steps.
And that, more than any report card, award, or trophy, is the greatest return on the investment of love we’ve poured into them — knowing that the imprint of our love, guidance, and unwavering presence will never leave them.
It’s true. We spend years teaching them how to walk, only to watch them walk away. But, in all those milestones, the journey of parenting is one of constant shifting: holding on tightly when needed, letting go gradually, and always cheering from just far enough away.
Wherever you are on the parenting timeline this fall — sending off a dewy-eyed preschooler, navigating the drama of middle school transitions, or unpacking a dorm room in some unfamiliar town — know these moments don’t necessarily get easier, but they do get richer. Because within the letting go, there’s a fulfillment in witnessing the fruits of all those bedtime stories, carpool talks, tough conversations, and ordinary days unfold into someone capable, curious, and uniquely their own.
As school starts this month, I have an assignment for my fellow parents. Take the time to enjoy the journey — whether that includes looking ahead, looking back, or simply soaking in the now. And remember that, though they may let go of your hand, they never let go of what you’ve instilled in them.
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